Washingtonienne in Playboy!

Here's a safe-for-work article. The scary part is, her musings on Washington society are frighteningly accurate:

"People like to pretend that money and looks don't matter, but they do. It's supposed to be a big meritocracy, but people here are just as shallow as anywhere else. The thing about D.C. is it's not Miami or New York where there are all these hot people everywhere. I'm cute by New York standards, but when I came here, my stock just shot up fast."

What are you saying, Jessica? That people like "Lisa Farbstein" aren't hot?

For shame.